Do you have one of these at home? A 20-something year-old living at home…With university graduate living at home because they’re looking for the perfect job or saving up to buy their penthouse condo, or is your young adult still in school but keeps changing programs, is a good kid but doesn’t know where they are going, works in a minimum wage, part-time or temporary job, spends all their money on shopping or social activities and has no savings.
From generation to generation, roles and responsibilities between parents and children have transformed. The Gen-Ys or millenials are today’s young adults who have been stereotyped as being “entitled”. According to the Statistics Canada 2011 Census, there is a significant upward trend of 20-29 year olds living at home longer especially in greater Metropolitan areas where finance is a factor but not the only one. The hard truth is that parents are babying their teens and taking care of their older children when they should not. We all know of so many friends and acquaintances who couldn’t wait to get out of the home, rent a basement apartment with a few other friends or just get some independence.
By not allowing this generation today to learn and take age-appropriate responsibilities, they end up developing bad habits and it’s holding them back. You may think that you’re encouraging and supporting your teen to achieve good grades without worrying about a part-time job or financial responsibilities but think about it… how will they learn to live in the real world and work their way up? So many of us began in minimum wage jobs to help pay for a higher education, pay for our rent with roommates and working hard to get our first car or a nice apartment out of the student “ghetto”?
Parents today are overprotecting their children from challenges, failures, set-backs and even adversity which results in adult children who are shocked when things don’t go according to their plan or how they picture their reality. Parents may have stability in their own financial make-up but should not be digging into your savings to support your children. Providing a financial safety net does not help your kids in the future. Adult children relying on parents to pay their bills will not learn to earn their own money or the importance of budgeting. You may say that housing may be too high or the pursuit of higher education or difficulty finding a job today is the issue but whatever the reason, adult children need to take charge of their lives and should not depend on their parents to take their of them.
AMCAL Family Services provides family counselling for emerging adults with the goal setting boundaries and goals, and developing a long-term plan—so the young adult can f unction better as an adult and the family can establish a new equilibrium. If you are going through something similar or know someone dealing with teenage angst, talk to your school, healthcare professional or contact AMCAL Family Services at (514) 694-3161.