First of all go easy on yourself and don’t let your circumstances bring you down. Divorce is undoubtedly a devastating and draining occurrence, but it can only affect you adversely if you let it.
1. Strive for an amicable divorce
There are various ways in which you can go about your divorce.
You might favour litigation and start court proceedings. You might not need a lawyer if your case isn’t complicated. You can talk to a few people to help with the divorce process. Still, you can go for mediation in your divorce or marriage counselling to prevent divorce is a good option. It cannot guarantee you will save your marriage, but it has had positive results. Its success is a function of many factors or variables, but mainly if both sides are committed to the process.
Before you make a decision, take your time and carefully evaluate all of the options you have. Afterward, choose one with which you have the best chances of keeping your divorce as diplomatic as possible.
2. Get Organized
Throughout the divorce process, you’ll have to make critical decisions that will have a significant effect on you and your children in the future. If you get your things in order, your negotiations are likely to be of top quality, and in turn, have a great settlement agreement.
Hiring a qualified and experienced professional to advise you throughout the divorce proceedings will have a positive effect. They’ll ensure an in-depth discovery process and ensure that you’re financially ready for the soon-to-follow divorce negotiations. That said, making financial plans in advance and before commencing your divorce can help greatly.
Together with your spouse, draw a list of property and debts and start to gather relevant financial documents and records, including your latest federal and state tax returns, W2’s, banks account statements, pay stubs, credit card statements, brokerage accounts statements, insurance policies, pension accounts, auto loan statement, mortgage statements, other marital property, and so on.
Prepare a marital budget to have a proper comprehension of your monthly expenses when you’re living together and your expected monthly expenses after getting a divorce and living separately.
It’s unnecessary (and often ill-advised) to begin negotiations without the counsel of a qualified professional. At this point, what’s important is getting things in order and getting ready financially for the divorce (getting ready for the discovery stage of the divorce process).
3. Take control
Divorce is devastating, and you might be tempted to look the other way and pretend that it isn’t real. However, you, more than anyone else, know that doing this won’t help or alter anything.
Don’t be a spectator in the process of your own divorce – it is your personal matter and you should be responsible for it. While you should always take heed of your divorce professional’s advice, you should also be ready to take bold steps.
A proven way of successfully taking on divorce is taking an active role, even if you’re not the one requesting it. The process will be smoother, brief, hassle-free, cost less money, and you’ll reach a better settlement.
4. Seek support
It will get you feeling alone and isolated, but there are always people willing to be around you.
With various parties willing to give you support during a divorce, you can use their help to shake off the gloomy feelings you have and even find ways of dealing with them in the best way possible.
If you have great control over your emotions, you are in a better position to prepare for divorce and go into negotiations with a calm, clear head.
5. Don’t compromise your integrity
It is normal to feel betrayed and get angry during divorce, but no matter how much your spouse is agitating you, don’t allow him/her to overpower you and make you compromise your integrity.
Keep off social media and avoid ranting about your divorce to just about anyone. Don’t talk ill of your soon-to-be ex-spouse to your children or other family members (even if he/she is talking ill of you to them).
Overcome that, be silent, and breathe (for however long you need to) and show that you’re mature.
It might seem difficult, but it is imperative that you take care of yourself. Protect your thoughts, emotions, and your physical well-being. This puts you in a better position to make sober and wise decisions about your future with a clear and rational mind.
By any means, don’t let your ‘d‘ ruin your future.
If you’re looking for help on how to deal with divorce, look for a good therapist, work out, meditate, get enough sleep, eat healthy, and be close to positive people. Create a list of things to do and opt for activities that can keep your energy levels up and help you be the best version of yourself.
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